My Brother

             My brother was a constant in my life, when things were not as consistent in our lives.  Our mother had substance abuse issues and was not predictably present emotionally and/or physically.  My brother was eleven years older than me and one of my primary caregivers throughout my childhood.  He often babysat me for long periods of time and took care of my basic needs such as feeding, bathing, and getting ready for school.  He was my protector I thought in my child-like mind.

          I idolized my brother more and more as we got older.  He became my hero when he left for the Navy at age eighteen.  We exchanged letters through the postal mail as much as time could allow.  I remember dedicating the song "Hero" by Mariah Carey to him at the time.  Mariah Carey was my all time favorite singer when I was a child.  I stayed up all night writing down the lyrics to the song to mail him.  Listening to my cassette tape, pausing, rewinding, and playing again to get every word right.  I wanted him to know how important he was to me and how much I appreciated the example he had set for me.  I would not be the person I am today without him being there for me so early in life.